let’s talk big: what if a question changed your life?

I recreated a game called ‘Big Talk’ – skip the small talk, make meaningful connections.

I have never been a fan of ‘small talk’, which I found odd because I didn’t have an aversion to talking to people, in fact I love sitting in conversation with new people due to my natural curiosity to learn specifically through one-on-one interactions. I recently learned what it was about small talk was so excruciating - it was the

repetitive and ordinary questions that created the ‘white noise’ of networking.

So what did I want to talk about and learn from others?

I wanted to talk about their childhood - how their hardships and achievements led them here today; their dreams - what goals they had in mind, their stand on controversial issues - where we disagreed so that I could learn from their POV, their passions, whether they believe in aliens or afterlife, their biggest regrets and most valuable learning(s).

I don’t want to merely know “what’s up” or “how you are” at the surface, instead I want you to stop and tell me about YOU. Tell me how it was growing up and where you want to live in the future. The reasons behind your favourite seasons and the little things that inspire you. I don’t care about the weather and you don’t care about how my job’s going. Tell me about you.

I created my own version of this game as a natural way to connect deeper with friends and pick the brains of those I barely know. Some of the most profound learnings/insights lie in that space that we don’t typically navigate to in conversation. The questions I created probe topics that interest me.

I played this game over the weekend at brunch, at work team meetings and again over drinks at a bar. I challenge you to ask bigger questions during your interactions with others this week. Some of my suggestions:

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?”
“Whats something you do differently than most people”
“What are the pros and cons of colonizing other planets? How could this help or hurt human race?”
“If you could run your own country, what would it be like?”
“Whats one thing you want to be remembered for?”
“Why did you choose your profession” - better alternative to the classic ‘what do you do?’ allowing you to discover different layers of one’s values and motivations.
“What are you reading at the moment?”

For ideas regarding ‘bigger’ questions, I leave you with Andrea Gibson’s spoken word ‘Asking Too Much”. Absolutely beautiful, full of questions that I wish we asked each other as naturally as we ask each other to talk about our weekends or the weather.